selected works by lisa talev
dawn was breaking in my mind
though not yet in the sky
and softly through the dull-blue haze
of our room i began to stir
quietly, with eyes still closed,
i opened my perception
to find my arm casually resting
on your head
your unmistakable pulse,
warm and strong, pounded out
its rhythm against my skin
our two breaths rising and falling
effortlessly together
called in slow but sudden waves
the images to flood my mind
mental paintings-moments-snapshots
of us together
beat and pulsed their realness
into me, as tangible and inexplicable
as your heartbeat and the yielding dawn
our fingers found each other once more
sliding smoothly into grooves
they know as home
half-conscious, i laid there smiling up
as the world revealed its glory
secretly for me.
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the wind has come to push the clouds.
it is midnight and the birds are whispering
secrets unattainable, like future memories
reverberating through our cells.
the looming whiteness passes over,
to change again the sky.
there is almost nothing now--
so delicate and graceful is the listening--so full.
there was yesterday: the loud and silent
moments of our living, that carried us in waves,
strangely along, as if taking us somewhere.
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it was almost a whisper,
more like a ripple of meaning
from your lips, through your legs, into my hands.
the night tiptoed into morning
as we fell back and tried to climb
into each other through our bones.
you whispered, "i love you,"
like an apology to her ghost;
like a promise to me and to yourself.
i lay in wonderment at anything so bright and sweet
--at anything so huge as this, placed at my feet.
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there is a book.
sit and read me poetry
and i will cook you breakfast at midnight.
the low hum of your voice is my home,
as i meditate over the flame.
your love is this
place beneath my skin, empty and pure.
i cannot eat.
i have no will to chew this bite,
as if i'll choke
to hold anything but love inside.
i tiptoed silently to spit this heavy food,
overwhelmed by your presence,
which demands my stillness to unwind.
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i listen to the ragged music of your voice;
the drunken dance of your inflections,
how they make me laugh.
these hours that we spend pretending
that the world has left us everything--
a private universe.
this house is empty, all for us.
the streets are vacant as we walk.
the porch becomes a portal: tiny holes
to step into...as if
we were the only ones
who have ever felt this way.
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there are no shadows but ourselves
held silent for a while
to witness as one breath ends
we hold the stillness and wonder at the next.
we long to be, if only for a moment, merely flesh.
love has continued to draw me into the center
creating worlds of possibility, living waking dreams.
breathing light, tasting god within ourselves,
through each other.
and we are only here - hand outstretched to hand
breath that spirals with the wind
and fills the chambers of mortality.
your gaze falls into me as pebbles in the water
sinking silent secrets into me.
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we danced this day just like a painting:
wet, wandering brush of our steps,
light upon the canvas of the wind.
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it has been hours
since i've felt you near...
hours transformed into days
and memories blurred with time.
soft piano playing
reminds me of you
and i wander unknowingly
to the place in my mind where you live.
here i've waited quietly
to think of words i'll never say.
i have no voice thinking of you,
imagining your heartbeat
in the stillness of this room.
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leave my mind. leave me here, in the center
to breathe and nothing else. for i need
nothing else.
i am alone.
there is no more pain.
there is a peacefulness to being here: a silent space,
a suspension of time, as all i am is moments,
sensations, nerves and thoughts collected --
inconsequential
as the soft dew drops that fall
before the world is awake.
you were the dawn
but i am the day and the night and all things in between.
this love i felt was mine.
you were my mirror, refractions, reflections of me,
just as i was to you.
and so the mirror breaks.
am i not still whole?
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